PFAM Carnival: Is Help a Four Letter Word?

Welcome to the PFAM’s Blog Carnival! I am very excited to host this edition with the theme: “Is Help A Four Letter Word?” There was an amazing response and I’ve discovered a number of blogs I’ll be sure to follow (and hope you will too).

A good place to start with our theme is to define what we mean by getting help. Leslie Rott of Getting Closer to Myself explores how definitions of what it means to be sick impacts help-seeking and receiving (for both chronically ill and healthy people). I especially loved this quote from her post, Sick Or Something Like It: “Life is full of four letter words (including life). Help, sick, well, pain, love; there are thousands, the list goes on and on. Help and chronic illness can either go together like oil and water, or like peanut butter and jelly. Whether you choose to view help as a nasty four letter word is ultimately up to you.” Brilliant words, Leslie!

Speaking of words, Phylor of Phylor’s Blog: Chronic Pain, Life, and All That writes about learning to say 3 little words. Can you guess what they are?

Getting Help Can Be A Struggle

To get help, it requires the cooperation and kindness of others and ourselves. But getting help is not easy. It can be a struggle.

Kristen of Not Standing Still’s Disease wrote a post titled Help! I need somebody. Kirsten tells how she tends to view help as a weakness and how she struggles to change that point of view. I’m sure many of us can relate.

Over at Tales of Rachel, you’ll find a very sincere description of Rachel’s struggle in finding what helps when she is in need.

At Seeking Equilibrium, Rosemary Lee explores how our fear of rejection can get in the way of getting help. I think you’ve hit the nail on the head with this one, Rosemary.

Aviva of Sick Momma realizes that she still struggles with learning to ask for help and accept it when it’s offered. In her post, We All Get By With A Little Help From Our Friends, she writes that getting help is a lifelong learning process. I couldn’t agree more.

The Helping Hands of Friends & Family

I often count my blessings for the wonderful friends and family who understand what I’m going through. Receiving help can make such a positive difference in my life. Likewise, Kathy of FibroDAZE reminds us that getting good help can be hard to find, but when you find it, it’s priceless. She also writes about her quid pro quo system that attempts to balance the scales of receiving and giving and reminds us that it’s okay to hire help, too.

Besides the physical help we can get from others, Kelly Young at Rheumatoid Arthritis Warrior writes about encouragement, and how it can be a special kind of help. Kelly nicely shows that our emotional well-being is just as important as our physical health, and I wholeheartedly agree.

Dot of Fibro World discovered that family dynamics change when one person has a chronic illness. She found that asking for help can sometimes cause pain for the whole family. In her article, Fibro Help-A Painful Four Letter Word, Dot talks about her journey with her family.

Dana Morningstar’s blog I Already Gave My Right Arm To Be Ambidextrous! reminds readers that by not asking for help you risk becoming truly helpless. She writes a very emotionally touching post about needing help from her husband. Check out Dana’s post, Help Me If You Can…I Do Appreciate You Being Round…Even If I Don’t Always Act Like It!

Another gal with a helpful hubby is the Chronic Migraine Warrior. Jaime tells how being in chronic pain and her belief in God have put her in a position to ask for help to overcome obstacles and write about her experiences. In a similar vein, REform Girl of Chronicles of a Chronically Random Girl, reflects on her familial and religious upbringing and how they both influence getting help.

The Science of Getting Help

Since Possibilism.org is dedicated to the science of pain and art of living with it, I end this post with information on what scientists have to say about help. Check out what researchers have found about why asking for help is hard to do. You’ll even find tips to make getting and giving help easier.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this month’s PFAM theme. But before you go, here’s a little humorous video to help make your day!

Bananarama’s cover of HELP (by The Beatles) to raise funds for the Comic Relief Charity.

For more carnival goodness, check out ChronicBabe’s on being thankful. The next Patients for A Moment Carnival will be hosted by Rachel at Tales of Rachel.

Tagged as: Chronic Pain, embarrassment, health, help, help seeking, helping, Pain, Patients for a Moment, perspective taking, PFAM, Psychology